That yucky nagging thing, called Peer Pressure
Google defines peer pressure as the influence from members of one’s peer group. This cute little description though is too innocuous, in my opinion.
Here is the long definition. Peer pressure is the jealousy of someone* doing better than you, turning into embarrassment or shame overtime, and eventually becoming, either (1) that drive that pushes you to up your game (by hard work, skill building, patient perseverance etc.), or (2) the bitter, consuming, insecurity which leads to petty actions and overall pathetic behavior, spiraling down into the circle of regret and self loathing.
*It’s interesting that peer pressure is mostly felt from one’s peers only. One might say ‘DUH!!’ But isn’t it strange though? A beggar always feels jealous of another beggar, never of Mukesh Ambani. I feel jealous of my classmates from the same-ish batch, rarely of people 5 years senior. Sister in law rivalry (similar family/age) is almost a television genre in India. Probably because with non-peers, there are factors that you can attribute the ‘well being/success’ of the better doing person to — they had more time/they are more senior, they had more opportunities, they had xyz that I didn’t have so I couldn’t achieve what they did. With peers though, one gets stripped off of these factors, or blame cushions. And voila, that’s the birthing place of your good old ‘ईर्ष्या’ as they say in Hindi.
Not to worry though. One legit way (out of many) to overcome peer pressure is to spend time with those who resist peer pressure.
It makes sense then, to stop once in a while, and wonder. Do we have people in our lives that resist peer pressure (to some degree, if not fully)? Go on, count them on your fingers. And then, hold onto them.
